Fela is back!
Abuja, Nigeria: Sources very close to the Presidency revealed to Wazobia investigative reporters that Aso Rock has become a haunted mansion.
President Goodluck and his wife, Mrs. Patience Goodluck, reportedly left the presidential residence one month ago to reside at their palatial million-naira village villa in Otuoke, Bayelsa State, pending a proper exorcism ceremony to be conducted by Sat. Guru Marahaji, the One Love Family Master.
Early reports received indicated that the resident ghost was the late President Umaru Yar’Adua who is angry that his ex vice-president did not fully explain to him the potent voodoo attached to his name, Goodluck.
Having risen from relative obscurity as the Deputy Governor of Bayelsa State to become vice-president, Goodluck became president of the African country following the death of Yar'Adua earlier this year.
All attempts made by Sat. Guru Marahaji to remove the angry ghost, who was tormenting President Goodluck by super-gluing his eyelids open so that he was continuously staring at a life-size mural of ex President Olusegun Obasanjo on his bedroom wall, failed.
A very close source who did not want us to identify that he is a presidential aide from the president’s village, stated that a desperate President Goodluck, then decided to outsource the exorcism to one of the three bearded bare-naked women living under the Olumo Rock.
The source who was present during the consultation told Wazobia Report that the president was advised that his real tormentor was actually somebody else masquerading as the ghost of Yar'Adua. The president was advised that the face of his real tormentor will appear to him in a calabash of water.
Shock ran through everyone present in the room when the face of the late Abami Eda, Fela Anikulapo-Kuti, was seen smiling in the water. The face reportedly grinned at the president saying, “Goodluck, say Yeah-Yeah.”
A Wazobia Report news associate in New York spoke with one of the producers of Fela on Broadway, Jada Pinkett-Smith. Mrs Pinkett-Smith admitted that the producers conjured the spirit of the late genius on October 31, 2010 in an attempt to request some information from him. Fela declined to act as a virtual consultant for the show, saying that he was needed back in his beloved Nigeria.
Following this revelation, there has been great unease across all political circles as to the next actions of the late Abami Eda. At press time, no other sightings has been reported - only the future will tell.
As his son, Femi Kuti succinctly said when contacted in regards to this new development, “Trouble sleep, yanga go wake am.”