Nigeria solves electricity problem by giving a generator to each household

04 Mar 2011

Nigeria solves electricity problem by giving a generator to each household
Generator for everyone by year 2012. Problem solved. Gbam!

 


Abuja - The joke goes that Nigerian men are the most romantic men in the world - because they always have dinner by candle light. But as jokes go, this one is a play on the fact that the Giant of Africa subjects her citizens to perpetual darkness due to the Nation's legendary epileptic power generation.

Well, those days of eating dinner by candle light are now over, thanks to the Federal government's announcement that every household in the nation will be given a generator to tackle the electricity problem once and for all.

This news follows announcement of billions of Naira allocated in the 2011 budget for purchase of generators for the Nations Embassies.

Shocked Nigerians reacted by questioning the rationale behind buying generators for use in countries like France, China, and the USA where power outages are as rare as Paris Hilton farting, but the government soon announced that a typo in the budget was responsible for what looked like a colossal waste of public funds.

According to the government, the budgetary allocation for generators is not meant for the nation's embassies, but for every home in the country. This, it seems, is the government's answer to the problem of power generation. According to a source in the presidency, "When everyone has a generator, we will close down NEPA (PHCN) and replace it with GDA; Generator Distribution Authority."

A spokesperson for an opposition party has since condemned the generator-for-everyone policy as a ploy to win votes in the April 2011 elections.

According to him, Nigerians should be vigilante and take the news with more than a pinch of salt because, as he said, "They are only deceiving people so that they will vote for them. The only party that can solve electricity problem is our party. Our chairman is the biggest importer of generators, so only he can guarantee that every Nigerian will get one generator each."

He further said: "I am sure that the generators they are buying are fake or tokunbo, or those small, small, I-better-pass-my-neighbour things. Our party chairman only imports original British Made Perkins generators from china! He is their sole distributor, so only he can import best quality generators for every Nigerian."

Ordinary Nigerians have received the news with mixed feelings. While some citizens have praised the national government thinking outside the box, others - who have read too much book - are talking about noise pollution, inflationary pressure on price of fuel, and something they call the ozone layer.

Others seem to have adopted the wait and see mentality, and as one Mr Dantin Tomasi said: "Ol' boy, na like so they promise us during 50th Anniversary say they go bake the biggest cake in the word. You, you see cake?"

Jowo Mabinu, for wazobiareport.com



Comments have been disabled

HEALTH On 06/04/2013 10:57:34
The truth is that am ashamed of the leadership of my country Nigeria in that with all our God given resources and reserves, we cannot boast of any product we sell to the world only to become the largest generator importing country in Africa. you can imagine the insult the federal government is pouring on us as citizens of this great country; we dont need i pass my neighbour generator, GIVE US LIGHT.
Chi On 21/11/2012 14:03:29
Oh, when will Nigerian Politicians have enough money to decide its time to stop looting and start building?
Bello On 09/03/2012 18:35:28
Nigeria has big problems; the country should look inward; generator for all won’t solve the problem. One company locally explains a lot about Nigeria electricity problems, even if they distribute generators, Nigeria will still have problems. See: http://www.walxytech.com/compressed_base_electricity.html BS
Aku On 04/01/2012 15:03:42
why should Nija import generator while they have oil and gas and a big river. You Nigerians are disgracing Africa. You don't need government, you need to change your thinking as a whole and hold people working at NEPA responsible. Fight all public servant in charge of electricity.
I do not want to believe that people working in Government lack vision but there are selfish and wicked to the poor.

J On 25/08/2011 05:18:32
Better late than never. What an ingenious way to solve an intractable problem. Omo oninakuna - prodigal son. Squanderers. Aug. 25 2011
Ekene On 13/03/2011 23:58:33
"Chinese made generators ordered from a hotel room in Britain"
John Raphael On 09/03/2011 22:08:41
I love this site no be lie. tell the the truth. imagine the Se***n**te president without drinking water in his constituency, Bad raod fro Otukpo to branch Otukpa for over 4-5yrs now no shame him still dey contest for what????? shame on you pple, yeye leaders
xtreme On 04/03/2011 16:59:07
"British made from china.: lwkmd!!
Big fan! On 04/03/2011 12:06:27
Or just give every Nigerian a million naira each and we all become millionaires. Puff! Poverty eradicated!
ex nepa staff On 04/03/2011 09:30:28
the blind leading the blind
Funmi Shizzy On 04/03/2011 09:29:45
I dey laugh o! lwkmd
Ceteris Paribus On 04/03/2011 09:29:08
Problem solved
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Emotan 77
Former publisher of the women's bi-monthly, Emotan (1977-1984) and op-ed ... now publishes her writing here

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