Wazobiareport review: Top 10 most useless government agencies

19 Jun 2012

Wazobiareport review: Top 10 most useless government agencies

 


It will be recalled that sometime last year wazobiareport.com released its assessment of the top ten most useless government agencies. In case you missed that, please follow this link: http://www.wazobiareport.com/reports/Top-10-most-Useless-Government-agencies-in-Nigeria.


Not much has changed in terms of improving the organizations that made last year’s list but much effort has been put into ensuring that some organizations that did not make last year’s list occupy prominent positions on the list this year:


10) Ministry of Special duties


Retaining its spot from last year, this special ministry plays a very special role in the composition of our very special country. There is no federal ministry that more truly encompasses the unique nature of the Nigerian government; unnecessary, ambiguous, without direction, without a clear cut mandate. So what does this ministry actually have? A very big oga and a budget to take care of his big and special needs; Ministry of special duties, truly Nigerian


9) Servicom.


Making its debut on this elite list, I suggest we pause and give a round of applause. “SERVICOM gives Nigerians the right to demand good service” … Really? Servicom is therefore telling us that services in Nigeria are generally messed up because Nigerians have not “demanded” better service. I have an idea: Next time the rude MTN customer care person tells you that your 3 minute intra network call mysteriously cost N1700 and there were no irregular deductions, please invoke your servicom given right and demand better service cause that will fix everything :D


8) Civil defense corpse


A perpetual offender, the Nigerian civil defense corpse has however lost its previous spot at number 3 and now comes in 8th place. Not that the corpse has become any more focused or efficient, it is just because events have since over taken the organization and competing interests have upped their game. Somebody please give the civil defense corpse a mandate.


7) National sugar development council


“NSDC is committed to making Nigeria a notable player in the global sugar trade”. I am thinking the exact same thing as you; WTF?


6) Nigerian water board


Maintaining its spot from last year, the incompetence of this organization remains outstanding. The water board is determined to hold its own among useless organizations in the country.


5) Nigerian fire service


Gaining two spots from its previous position last year, the existence of this organization remains a point of great contention among Nigerians. While wazobiareport.com cannot conclusively verify the non-existence of the fire service, it also can find no basis to uphold the government’s claims to its existence. The Nigerian fire Service: fact or myth? I will let you decide.


4) Nigerian Police force


Falling from its previous position at second place, I am sure some people are already beginning to question the composition of this list. How can anybody rate 3 organizations more useless than the police force? Calm down and allow us to land


3) NEPA:


Losing its previous top spot, NEPA remains a facilitator of national unity. The uselessness of NEPA is “in your face” and the organization does not take hostages. The incompetence of the organization does not discriminate and it strikes from airports to motor parks, from polished areas to slums, from northern Nigeria to southern Nigeria we all have a “NEPA is useless story”. NEPA: facilitating national unity through non discrimination in display of uselessness.


2) The Presidency


Making its debut on this list, the inclusion of the presidency has been long overdue. Presiding over a non functional country and facilitating its further deterioration incontestably requires a special level of incompetence and uselessness. The rot in the presidency is what is evident in the ministry of special duties, in Sercom, in the civil defense corpse, in the national sugar development council, in the Nigerian water board, in the fire service, in the police, in NEPA and in all sectors of our country. God save Nigeria


1) The Nigerian opposition:


CPC, ACN, etc should all change their name to: “The Association of Aggrieved Politicians Who have Lost the Avenue to Chop and so therefore are Very Pissed Off” (TAAPWLACVPO). They should then proceed to name national loud mouth and all round hypocrite Mallam Nassir El Rufai as their spokesman. Some people might say the opposition is not a part of government but I say they are the aggrieved branch of government. Ex ministers, ex governors, ex presidents, etc. They are going through sugar withdrawals because they no longer have unlimited access to the national cake and now they feel all fidgety. It is important to remember that foot in mouth champion of the opposition El Rufai had, in the wake of the Yaradua presidency, come out to explain to Nigerian how they had manipulated the electoral process to ensure that Yaradua won and was only revealing these details after he had fallen out with the government.


Lets not get too serious here, Its wazobiareport.com and we are here to have fun!!


By Owi the J.town boy




Comments

Oteh Dollar On 01/08/2012 20:05:07
National Identity Management Commission - Assuring that a Nigerian is a Nigerian. We won't let you escape and pretend you are from Ghana or Benin Republic.
Silly On 21/06/2012 16:09:16
“The Association of Aggrieved Politicians Who have Lost the Avenue to Chop and so therefore are Very Pissed Off” lafao lol lol lol lol lol lol lol
Sir Farouk On 21/06/2012 10:12:43
Stop playing! there is a sugar development agency? Lmao! Come on. I wholeheartily endorse this list. Perhaps we should look forward to a list of redundant agencies because we definitely have a large sampling of those in Nigeria.
the don On 20/06/2012 13:05:43
This is sooo f***ing hilarious. I think the the only thing worse than the government is the opposition.
cnn On 19/06/2012 20:54:27
“NSDC is committed to making Nigeria a notable player in the global sugar trade”. I am thinking the exact same thing as you; WTF? lwkm. U na de craze for this wazobia
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Emotan 77
Former publisher of the women's bi-monthly, Emotan (1977-1984) and op-ed ... now publishes her writing here

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