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Dele Momodu invokes powers of Almost President, sparks national debate

07 Mar 2011

Dele Momodu invokes powers of Almost President, sparks national debate
Almost President in waiting

 

Lagos - Dele Momodu, Ovation Magazine publisher and presidential aspirant of the National Conscience Party, NCP, has sparked a national debate by ordering the EFCC - in his capacity as the Almost-President of the federal republic of Nigeria - to arrest certain political opponents of his.

Addressing newsmen at his campaign headquarters in Lagos, Mr. Momodu stated that until the authorities can categorically prove that he will not win the pending elections, he will continue to exercise his duties in service to the nation as the Almost-President of Nigeria.

In reaction to Mr. Momodu’s actions, the presidential candidate of the Fresh Democratic Party, whose name was on Momodu’s list of people to be arrested, has decided to invoke his own constitutional role as the Almost-President of Nigeria. His first move was to reverse Mr. Momodu’s decree, and to order the arrest of Mr. Momodu for corruption.

In view of the ensuing chaos, the attorney general of the federation has taken the issue to court and asked the Judiciary to clearly establish what the constitutional role of an Almost-President is.

It is believed that deciphering the conundrum of the Almost-President will rest on answering an age old question that has dogged all Nigerians from the inception of our great country: “Can ALMOST kill a bird?”

Answering this question holds the key to the powers of Dele Momodu and Co in their capacities as Almost-Presidents of Nigeria.

The legal teams of other aspiring candidates have jumped on the bandwagon and are seeking to empirically prove that almost, can indeed kill a bird. They have cited the 1996 case of a certain hunter who shot a bird but failed to kill it on the spot and later ran into corpse of the dove which had subsequently died from injuries sustained.

Government lawyers are however set to argue to the contrary saying that almost can actually NOT kill a bird; it can however easily kill a man. In defending this position, the government is putting forward a very simple example: ABIOLA.

Owi the J.town boy, for wazobiareport.com
Comments have been disabled

Fatai Edunjobi On 3/8/2011 3:27:35 PM
When matter pass crying man go just dey laugh.... Country of crazy people...U be thief, I no be thief. u be rouge, i no be rouge. u be armu robber no be armu robber.....
SARA On 3/7/2011 9:03:04 PM
LMAO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Love this Owi guy
Santana lomo On 3/7/2011 8:47:31 PM
This is classic wazobiareport. Brilliant Owi.
Mr (Almost) President On 3/7/2011 11:00:29 AM
Almost president indeed. By my powers as an Also President as well, I hereby declare all other opponents ineligible to contest!
xtreme On 3/7/2011 8:36:05 AM
Nice one J.town. Very witty, double meaning to the last paragraph! keep it up guys and gals
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