Nigeria to outsource GEJ as condemner of terrorist acts

24 May 2013

Nigeria to outsource GEJ as condemner of terrorist acts


Abuja – In what is being praised as the first international presidential collaboration of its kind, the Nigerian economy is set to attract foreign exchange inflows through the outsourcing of President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan.

The Nigerian President, unlike any other current democratically imposed leader, has had more practice denouncing terrorist acts and as such, is more experienced than any current leader in the world when it comes to making such denouncements.

This unique situation places President Jonathan - and the Nigerian economy as a whole - in a strategic position to generate income by exploiting GEJ’s skills at condemning terrorists and terrorist acts.

An IMF expert on international trade and collaboration noted that: “It takes a lot of guts to go on live TV and promise the world that you are going to end terrorism in your country. It takes even more guts to do it again and again, even after breaking that promise each time. It takes colossal balls to do it as a President. Most leaders wont dare do it if they know they can’t deliver. And this is why Mr Jonathan is special. He can make the statements on behalf of other nations, and the host leaders would still have something called deniability - if shit goes wrong.”

Specifically, and guided by the economic principle of comparative advantage, countries with more busy leaders will enter into contract with the Nigerian President whereby, if and when there is a terrorist act in the client country, President Jonathan will respond with a harsh denouncement of such acts, thus freeing up the client President to get on with the task of actually doing something about said terrorist act - like finding and arresting the terrorists.

Nigeria is expected to earn millions of dollars from outsourcing Jonathan.

- Jowo Mabinu


Illuminatikingdom On 10/08/2016 09:30:11
PEACE BE ON TO THIS EARTH. Join the great Illuminati brotherhood society sect today and become a millionaire, one instant sum of $ 9 million. a free home for you any where you choose to live in the world and also gain powers, influence, wealth, reputation position It includes $ 100,000 monthly. as ur salarys. Note that being a member of this great society that you can achieve your goal in life every thing that you wanted come easily powers, and wealth also drive your car to your target Finally, and also know that is not a dirty game, know human sacrifices and know evil. is a cult of peace, if you want to reply us with your full details via (illuminatti great temple empaire) Tell us a little about yourself ...<°>... back to us as soon as possible. if you want to be famous. FOR MORE INFORMATION. Tell. 0703-3289531 Address Illuminati Illuminati Mitra 32th grade ritualistic N.W.O. Ships Illuminati Illuminati...
Ali On 09/06/2013 11:36:53
Kai jowo, u don kill Jona.
Comments may be removed if found to be gratuitously offensive,
bigoted, off-point, or simply not cool.
All fields are required. Only click the POST button once.
Thank you for your comments and for keeping it clean.



Caution: This is NOT real! It's all BS made up to entertain you.
For REAL news, please go to

Emotan 77
Former publisher of the women's bi-monthly, Emotan (1977-1984) and op-ed ... now publishes her writing here

Bridging Loans. Get a decision today
We have access to unlimited funding, assuring competitive levels of capital per deal.

Abuja food delivery, call +234 803 369 4078, +234 809 833 944
Afang, edikan ikon, egusi, oha, okro, white soup, jollof rice, yam porriage, moin-moin, white rice & stew ...

Home interiors inspired by Heritage African fabrics
Handmade cushions, bedding, apparel and more

Hand crafted cards by Christiangraffiti
Inspirational notecards and greetings that touch the spirit and pierce the soul