Federal Government Bans Open Letters

Abuja – The Nigerian senate has secretly passed a bill banning the authoring and publishing of so-called open letters. It is believed that the clandestine passing of the new law was at the behest of President Goodluck Ebele Jonathan who has been the subject of most of the recently published open letters.

Speaking anonymously, a member of the senate informed our reporter that the law stipulates a minimum sentence of twenty years in prison for people who continue to write open letters.

According to the lawmaker, only authorised persons will be allowed to write open letters. To get authorisation, would be open letter writers would need to apply for an open letter permit and submit a copy of the letter they wish to make open.

The law, the senator claimed, is for the sake of the people because the Bible says people should respect their leaders.

In Nigeria, he said, people are disrespectful of their leaders and in the case of open letters laced with insults directed at Mr President, the authors of such letters are unwittingly invoking the wrath and furry of God upon themselves by insulting their supreme leader.

“Mr President does not want anyone to go to hell because of insulting him,” the senator said. “That is why he as asked us to pass this law.”

-Jowo Mabinu