Lagos – An anonymous tip-off has led to the discovery in Lagos, of a group of fraudsters posing as recruiters for the international secret cult, The Illuminati.
This group of nefarious individuals have been preying on the desperation of artistes who wish to gain overnight fame and fortune, lack of talent notwithstanding.
The identities of the group’s leaders have been handed to appropriate authorities who have promised to look into the matter with utmost urgency.
The only prayer now is that it’s not too late as investigations have revealed that several struggling Nigerian musicians and actors have already signed up with the fake Illuminati cult at great monetary expense and with the hope of becoming miraculously successful.
This development might not be unconnected with false reports that certain Nigerian artistes are already members of the true Illuminati.
Attempts by our reporters to speak to such rumoured members of the cult proved abortive as the artistes shut their doors the moment our reporters mentioned the media house they represent.
A popular Lagos DJ whose popularity has so far failed to spread beyond the Festac area of Lagos however agreed to speak under condition of anonymity.
Below are excerpts from the interview he granted:
WR: Are you aware of the Illuminati cult?
Anonymous DJ: Yes. We all know there are members of the cult amongst us, and I am also aware that the cult now has representatives on ground here in Lagos searching for new members.
WR: So you believe the cult exists?
Anonymous DJ: Why now? Of course.
WR: And you know fellow artistes who are members?
Anonymous DJ: Yes. If you want I can mention them.
WR: That is not necessary. In your own opinion, why are Nigerian artistes joining this cult?
Anonymous DJ: Why else? For power now. You see, this thing is just like politics; if you want to chop in Nigeria, you must be part of PDP. It is the same in our own industry; if you want to be successful, you must join this kinds of powerful societies where they will give you all the power you need.
WR: What kind of powers?
Anonymous DJ: Look at you. Stay there. I’m talking of serious power. You star will just being to shine.
WR: How? Do you mean they will give you talent? Make you able to write hit songs?
Anonymous DJ: I don’t know exactly how they do it, but people that have joined, we know where they are today. Even the ones that just joined, we are already seeing the signs. They have already given them the power.
WR: What kind of signs? What are the powers they give them?
Anonymous DJ: Ok, for instance, the first thing you notice when someone joins is that they get the power to speak like Black Americans.
WR: You mean that the ability to speak like an American is a power gained through membership of the Illuminati?
Anonymous DJ: Black American. Yes. And other powers like they will be playing your music video on MTV, you will just begin to be attracting big-big politician women who will be chasing you up and down to be befriending them, travelling overseas to do concert, winning awards - not local awards o; international awards. Many things.
WR: And all these come from joining the Illuminati?
Anonymous DJ: Yes o.
WR: Have you been approached to become a member?
Anonymous DJ: Honestly, as I’m talking to you I’m still waiting for me turn. There is one boy in our area here selling their form, but it is very expensive. It is like hundred thousand.
WR: And you are willing to pay this much to join a secret cult?
Anonymous DJ: Why not? Me too I want to be like xxxxxxxx
WR: Is he a member?
Anonymous DJ: Yes now. Shebi you people even carried it on your internet?
WR: We are a satirical website.
Anonymous DJ: Ehn? Satanical?
WR: No. Satire.
Anonymous DJ: But you carried it. You too, you know this things. How else did he become famous like that, all of a sudden?
WR: It wasn’t sudden. Don’t you think it might have something to do with his talent and with hard work?
Anonymous DJ: Bros, leave that one. Na Naija be this. No be by ability person dey take make am. You no see as our president be?
More on this story as it develops.