High cost of Kerosene halts Nigerian revolution

25 Feb 2011

High cost of Kerosene halts Nigerian revolution
Can this happen in Nigeria? Let's hope it's never needed.

 


Abuja - Following the recent overthrow of governments in Tunisia and Egypt, and the current turmoil in Libya, Qatar, and Yemen, Nigerian youths have taken it upon themselves to overthrow the cabal that has been looting Nigeria since the oyinbo people left the Nation to rule herself.

The young revolutionists turned to Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and Blackberry IM to mobilise their numbers with the clarion call, “Enough is enough! Range Rover Sport is not for senators alone!”

A blog was put up on the world wide web, and on it the courageous youth behind the movement bravely declared that, “Only an iconoclastic departure from the status quo can free us from the class of aristos who have usurped power from the masses, who neglect their duties as elected representatives of the people choosing instead to indulge in pepper-souping, owambeing, and big-stouting.”

The place and time for the kick-off of the revolution was broadcast through Facebook, and millions of Nigerian youths clicked the ‘I will attend’ button. The stage was thus set for a cleansing of the Nation, Egyptian style.

A young protester, Olashehu Okoro, a year two student of one of the universities in the Nation, offered to get things rolling by setting himself ablaze as a symbol of the youth’s determination.

He was escorted by thousands of would be revolutionists to a NNPC filling station to buy the gallon of kerosene with which he would set himself ablaze.

On getting to the station however, an impossibly long queue of market women waiting to buy Kerosene discouraged the mob so they moved on to an AP filling station.

Attendants at the AP station explained to the gang of youths that the Kerosene tanker was yet to arrive, and even when it did, they would still need to wait several hours for it to discharge its load.

The restless mob finally moved on to Conoil where they found kerosene and no long queues, but the commodity was so expensive that between them they couldn’t come up with enough money to buy a decent quantity to set a person on fire.

Dejected, the crowd dispersed, but not before NTA staff that had been following the action paid some of the young men to push the NTA van to the next filling station.

Siobahn, reporting for wazobiareport.com.



Comments have been disabled

MATTHEW On 2/28/2011 4:41:18 AM
Thanks young men,you all make me laugh.
Thanks again.

Owi On 2/27/2011 12:02:59 AM
This is hilarious. Simply brilliant
ms siobahn On 2/26/2011 12:24:35 PM
Range Rover dude u didn't have to say it 4 times, noted AK47. Ossy, you never see fight before, that's why you want to contribute. This is Nigeria we fight and kill people over danish cartoons, as saif ghadaffi says: that will be war, it will be the last man standing stuffs. Those legislators ain't going no where. Which biz will give them so much pay for no work (or even any work?)
ossy On 2/26/2011 11:55:52 AM
Ms Siobahn, maybe u haven't noticed but saif gaddafi has changed tone. If these Nigerian revolutionist are able to buy the kerosine the revolution will b eventually b a success. On the other hand, if they r able to buy the kerosine they should probably use it to cook food or light their lamps at home after nepa takes light lol
ms siobahn On 2/26/2011 11:46:26 AM
Range Rover dude u didn't have to say it 4 times, noted AK47. Ossy, you never see fight before, that's why you want to contribute. This is Nigeria we fight and kill people over danish cartoons, as saif ghadaffi says: that will be war, it will be the last man standing stuffs. Those legislators ain't going no where. Which biz will give them so much pay for no work (or even any work?)
ossy On 2/26/2011 11:35:56 AM
This is so funny. Maybe we all need to make our contribution so he can set himself on fire and start the revolution and get our legislators out of there lol
Ineedarangeroversport On 2/25/2011 7:28:51 PM
Abeg all those Awolowo rd guy be d Original Bad guyz, d gun dem dey carry big pass AK47. i cant shout.
ms siobahn On 2/25/2011 7:14:58 PM
Tunde you are wicked oh, na your type dey use hammer kill mosquito when paper will do. This lasgidi guy just wants to control lagos population so he can chop more. As for Range Rover, if you stay at Toll gate with an AK45, you will definitely acquire one and just in case the journey is too far, do awolowo road. Use bacchus as your back drop (so u can escape to the left or right). Goodluck or best wishes. ;-)
Ineedarangeroversport On 2/25/2011 6:48:49 PM
Dem no serious jor, dem for jus stroll go cotonou buy d Kero, then come do the bonfire for here.

Meanwhile Miss Siobahn Zeggzy can you confirm this rumour i heard that they are dashing out Range Rover Sport out at the Lagos toll gate. I don over due for one abeg.

Lasgidi Big Boyz On 2/25/2011 2:39:23 PM
Lol... or hin for even jump LAGBUS dem go hia GBAM

Tunde Thunder On 2/25/2011 10:21:24 AM
Na lie, the boy no want die. Why not improvise with tire and petrol? lol
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