“LBS is a community of people committed to creating and transmitting management and business knowledge based on a Christian conception of the human person and of economic activity and relevant to Nigeria and Africa at large. We strive to be a world-class business school which will have a significant impact on the practice of management.”
– LBS, PAN-AFRICAN UNIVERSITY
Lagos - Starting next year, the Lagos Business School, LBS, will be offering an executive programme to prepare students for the rigours and demands of becoming successful Pentecostal evangelists.
As of press time little else had been revealed about the new programme; it’s structure, the cost of taking it, or the prerequisites for admission to it.
A source from the institution stated that the decision to offer the programme has nothing to do with reports in the news of Nigerian Pentecostal Church pastors ringing up $225 million dollars in private jet purchases in just one year.
“An MBA is not just for making money,” said the source, “but also for managing success. You may be blessed with the Holy Spirit, and you may have a thriving Church, but without the structured set of processes, tools and principles that we will equip you with in this programme, you might end up blowing all the money God has entrusted in you on private jets. They are a bitch to maintain, you know?
“Such a purchase, you will learn from our course, is a non-tax deductible, non-income generating diminishing asset. Rather than buy a jet, why not enter into a time-share arrangement with other pastors? ”
The school has refuted the insinuation that it’s only trying to exploit the ambitions of several young Nigerians who want to be rich like their pastors.
Though unconfirmed, the recent recruitment by the school of prominent method acting teachers, voice coaches, Bible scholars and stage hypnotists, seem to suggest that the school is indeed ready to accept the first batch of entrants into the Executive Pentecostal Evangelism graduate programme.
As of time of filing this report, the yet to be launched programme was already oversubscribed.
- Jowo Mabinu