Nigerian Government invents artificial intelligence: Name it Reno Omokri, Pass it off as real human being

26 Sep 2011

Nigerian Government invents artificial intelligence: Name it Reno Omokri, Pass it off as real human being

Kizazz 1: The Nigerian humanoid robot


 


London - From all indications, the Nigerians have beaten the rest of the world to the invention of Artificial Intelligence.


This fantastic scientific breakthrough is being kept secret by the Nigerian Government who initiated the research work that led to the great invention.


Leaked documents reveal that the Nigerians have not only invented artificial intelligence, they have also built a humanoid robot that uses this technology.


The Robot, officially known as Kizazz 1, has even been set free amongst unsuspecting citizens and given the very human sounding name, Mr Reno Omokri.


Investigations have also revealed the events that led to the Nigerians' invention of artificial intelligence and of Reno Omokri:


Just prior to the last elections, and faced with the impossible task of making the people love the presidential candidate, Jonathan Goodluck, who was also the current president, the government began searching for a chief propagandist for the administration.


The brief was simple: To find a Nigerian who had no qualms selling the crappiest, falsest, vilest, most deceitful, most obnoxious, most patronising government propaganda to Nigerians.


The job required an individual without a working moral compass; an unapologetic sycophant able to declare every brain-dead action of the government as the actions of a visionary leader; a total sell-out.


Before long one such person was found, but he was already pencilled down to be the president’s spokesperson so the administration had to keep searching for another similarly patently corrupt individual.


It was at this point that someone in government got the idea of creating such an individual; and thus was Reno Omokri born - because no real human being was found who could do they job the government had for him without experiencing a fatal attack of shame, remorse and regret at some point.


The Nigerian government has since given their invention the role of special assistant on media to the president.


The robot also runs the president’s Facebook and twitter accounts, and here hints of the computer program behind the facade can be glimpsed.


For example, this Reno Omokri machine frequently posts such insincere, patronising, scripted and nonsensical updates onto the president’s Facebook page that it’s a wonder Nigerians haven’t started suspecting that the posts are not the work of a real, thinking, rational human being, but the garbage-in-garbage-out outputs of a computer program that lacks the ability to reason and is not hindered by a conscience.


Nigerians have however bought the Reno Omokri deceit, as evidenced by the frequent debates real Nigerians have with it on twitter where it, the robot, consistently praises the trademark gaffes of the administration that created it.


-       Ore Ronu




Comments have been disabled

beafy On 07/10/2011 20:26:06
thunder fire una
alj harem On 07/10/2011 19:20:38
his name is beaf on nairaland, omon on vanguard. this is alj harem
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Emotan 77
Former publisher of the women's bi-monthly, Emotan (1977-1984) and op-ed ... now publishes her writing here

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