Nigerian Government to spend $2 Billion testing meat products for Horse DNA

13 Feb 2013

Nigerian Government to spend $2 Billion testing meat products for Horse DNA


Abuja– The Nigerian Federal government has swiftly reacted to the horsemeat scandal sweeping across Europe. The Scandal broke when spot-checks of meat products on sale to the English public revealed that beef burgers were actually horse burgers, leading to a national vomiting epidemic.

While the British Government continues to test other beef products on sale and as the source of the horsemeat found in some products is being investigated by the British Metropolitan Police, the Nigerian Government has decided to take no chances.

The presidency has already setup a committee to investigate the possibility that imported beef products on sale in the nation are actually old horses killed for meat at European abattoirs.

The committee members are scheduled to visit England, where the scandal was first detected, where they will speak to their counterparts in the British Government about the horsemeat palaver.

So as not to be exposed to horsemeat, the committee members are to be booked into the top hotel in England, where the food can be trusted.

Already, a preliminary report delivered to the president by committee members indicates that a total of $2 Billion would be required to test all imported meat products on sale in Nigeria.

Sources indicate that the requested fund might be released post-haste, as the government wants to avoid another PR crisis whereby the citizens would again accuse the current administration of being too slow in taking actions.

In line with transparent governance, the committee has made available, the constituents of the $2 Billion budget:


Itemcost (USD)

1 Meat testing devices     250,000,000.00
2Training of meat testing staff      100,000,000.00
3 Vehicles for meat testing field staff                      140,000,000.00
4 Housing of meat testing staff 80,000,000.00
5 Maintenance of meat testing devices 60,000,000.00
6 Mobile meat testing laboratories        465,000,000.00
7 Uniforms       100,000,000.00
8 Security badges 32,000,000.00
9 Meat carrier bags 20,000,000.00
10 Contaminated meat disposal                                  15,000,000.00
11 Meat testing air-laboratory      100,000,000.00 
12 Trucks 60,000,000.00 
13 Police and military protection for meat testers 80,000,000.00
14 PR       100,000,000.00 
15 Communication devices 50,000,000.00 
16 Others 98,000,000.00 
17 consultancy       250,000,000.00 

Total: $ 2,000,000,000.00


- Jowo Mabinu


Comments have been disabled

anonymous On 20/02/2013 11:59:50
Dodo On 13/02/2013 17:25:52
Rotfwl they better test for dog meat in all suya joint ... mo binu
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