Nollywood to run out of movie titles by 2012

Lagos - A Nigerian professor of mathematics has calculated the precise date on which Nollywood producers will run out of titles for their home videos.

According to the mathematician, not taking part-twos, part-threes, part-fours and subsequent parts into consideration, Nollywood movie producers will run out of new movie titles on the 29th of December 2012 when the movie, The Last Word, will be released.

Basing his prediction on the typical composition of a Nollywood movie title; the number of verbs used, the syllables in each word and the complexity of the title as a whole, professor Ajenumba of the University of Ibadan observed that there is a finite number of possible word combinations that can make up a typical Nollywood home video title.

“There appears to be logic behind the titles,” said the Professor, “you can’t just throw together any random words and expect them to sound like an authentic Nollywood film. But I fear that at the rate they are producing new movies, they would soon run out of titles.”

He further asserted that this same fate awaits copycat Ghanaian movie industry, but not so for the Yoruba movie industry.

Yoruba movies, observed the professor, are immune to this predicament as their producers are noticeably lazy in naming their movies, habitually choosing single word titles like Jenifa.

Upon learning of this prediction, ace Nollywood producer, Zeb Ejiro, has vowed to prove the professor wrong with his upcoming infinite parts movie, part one of which would be titled: The thing that swallowed the elephant.

The epic movie will be followed by sequel: The thing that swallowed the thing that swallowed the elephant.

The third instalment of the saga will be titled: The thing that swallowed the thing that swallowed the thing that swallowed the elephant."

The fourth part of the movie will be named... well, you get the gist.

- Bose the Nollywood Insider