Nigeria is now safe to visit - Chuck Norris
Abuja – On the fourteenth of May 2013, the Nigerian President, Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, finally declared State of Emergency in three terrorist infected states of his Nation: Borno, Yobe, and Adamawa.
The declaration of State of Emergency has come as a shock to 99.9% of Nigerians who had come to believe that their President, fondly called GEJ, lacked the courage to confront insurgents in the affected states lest they turn their attention and bombing ways to the Presidential Villa.
With the State of Emergency speech, however, the people of Nigeria are now referring to their President as ‘Oga at the top’; an adulation of some sort, the origin of which is probably buried deeply in the Nation’s history.
As fighter jets, troops, and paraga sellers are being deployed to the affected states, there remains in the Nation, those who still refuse to believe that the President has finally read the constitution and thus discovered his authority.
This naysayers and doubting Thomases are emboldened in their cynicism by the revelation that America, perhaps due to President Obama’s planned visit to Nigeria, has resolved to send Chuck Norris, the original American all action Hero, to Nigeria to sort things out.
The imminent arrival of Mr Chuck Norris, claim the opposition, is ‘what has borrowed (sic) GEJ liver to read such a speech and declare State of Emergency.’
- Jowo Mabinu