Aunty Ngozi solves your problems

My Name is Ngozi, and my job is to reply to your agony letters. You have to be really crazy to take my advice, but hey, who am I to judge?
If you want my help, send me an email today:
auntyngozi@wazobiareport.com, but first make sure you understand what I'm about.
I hope you enjoy my column. Have a lovely day.
Love always,
Aunty Ngozi

Any force that is against what you do here shall DIE BY FIRE!
 

Dearest Aunty Ngozi,


How you dey? I must confess that you have been doing an impressive job on your column. Initially, I was pissed off by the solutions you proffered to peoples' numerous problems. However, after reading the Disclaimer at the bottom of this webpage and seeing that I have to be "really crazy to take your advice", I smiled and understood what your column was all about. For example, I was thrilled by the advice you gave to someone who wanted to give his girlfriend a good "organism"(lol!). I really want to appreciate the fantastic work you are doing. I may not know who you are but I can conclude (rightly or wrongly) that you are a serious-minded, brillant,  not-old woman (by the way, where on earth did you coin the name, "Agony Aunty"?)  


My prayer for you is this: Any force that is against what you do here shall DIE BY FIRE!!! I rebuke every spirit that is against the entertainment I get from this website (**shakes head vigorously and stretches right hand forward in "deliverance style"**).

Happy Valentine and best wishes.

Your Fanatic Fan,

Uche, Owerri.


 


My reply

Shoo?!


I don’t know whether to say Awww, or Amen, or to pray protection prayer against you.


I’m happy that the penny finally dropped and you finally got what I’m about, but must you kill people?


Well, thank you for appreciating my work, but as per praying for people to die by fire, biko, you are on your own o!


Have a lovely day, and thanks for the Valentine’s Day greeting. I had a fab time! And my parents named me Ngozi.


Best regards,


Aunty Ngozi

 




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