Aunty Ngozi solves your problems

My Name is Ngozi, and my job is to reply to your agony letters. You have to be really crazy to take my advice, but hey, who am I to judge?
If you want my help, send me an email today:, but first make sure you understand what I'm about.
I hope you enjoy my column. Have a lovely day.
Love always,
Aunty Ngozi

I have a filling station in Maiduguri

Aunty Ngozi,

I have a filling station in Maiduguri. U go marry me?


My reply

Dear Yinka,

See as you fall your hand? 

Filling station in Maiduguri? That’s like someone saying I have Church in hell, or AC in the South Pole, or Leadership Training School in Aso Rock.

When you have managed to dig up your fuelling station and carried it to Lagos, then we can talk. As of now you are as desirable to me as OBJ when he was in prison; as useful to me as Jonathan when he had no shoes. In short, the K in front of Knife has more value to me than you do right now.

Filling station in Maiduguri?! I can call you a time waster right now!

Good luck with your filling station in Maiduguri.

Aunty Ngozi


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