Aunty Ngozi solves your problems

My Name is Ngozi, and my job is to reply to your agony letters. You have to be really crazy to take my advice, but hey, who am I to judge?
If you want my help, send me an email today:
auntyngozi@wazobiareport.com, but first make sure you understand what I'm about.
I hope you enjoy my column. Have a lovely day.
Love always,
Aunty Ngozi

My cousin is disturbing me for sturvs
 

Dear Aunty Ngozi, 


I i'm in love with your column and how you treat letters. 


I am an eastener who stays in the north. Some years ago, i tavelled back home where i stayed with my uncle's family. I had been attracted to his first son and somehow, the feeling was mutual. We had a little something (big romance, although he wanted sex, i still remembered he was my cousin....so nothing happened).


It took me months to finally forgive myself for dat. We met again last year and i couldn't help but notice how cute and more sexy he now looks...... Few weeks after returning to my base, he told me he had been looking for an oppurtunity to be intimate with me but there was none because of the number of relatives that were present. I was shocked! Cos i thought he had changed. Please help me, he keeps saying he loves me (even though i am quite sure he doesn't-and all he wants is just another taste of wat happened years back). 


I'm confused, not bcos i don't know wat to do, but i do not know how to tell him off 


p.s: he's my second cousin 


J – J


My reply

Dear JJ,


Your cousin is the least of your problems right now. You are an Easterner who stays in the North! As for me I’m just praying for your safety. All this BOKO HARAM ish is really getting out of hand. Please, be careful and always pray for your safety and the safety of other people living in the North; Christian and Muslims, Northerners and Easterners.


As for your cousin, just tell him you have been having mami water dreams. If that doesn’t do it, tell him you have turned born again and you want to confess your sin (the sin of loluxing with your cousin) to your uncle and your own parents.


Good luck with all that.


Aunty Ngozi

 




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