Aunty Ngozi solves your problems

My Name is Ngozi, and my job is to reply to your agony letters. You have to be really crazy to take my advice, but hey, who am I to judge?
If you want my help, send me an email today:
auntyngozi@wazobiareport.com, but first make sure you understand what I'm about.
I hope you enjoy my column. Have a lovely day.
Love always,
Aunty Ngozi

My love medicine is not working on her
 

Dear Aunty Ngozi


I have a very serious matter that needs your input, there’s one fine girl in my office I’m trying to catch, as she was not greeing for any of my normal moves I allowed my friend to carry me to one jazz man who constructed one odeshi for me.


Having followed all the rituals and prohibitions I left it in her desk, after 2 weeks nothing happened and to add insult to injury she was promoted, is now my oga and is now dating one useless local boy with dreadlocks. Can you imagine?


I have been back to that useless jazzman and the man has been speaking grammar telling me that because I wore red shirt and black trouser rather than red trouser and black shirt the thing didn’t take.


I want to sue this idiot for breach of verbal contract; my friend says I should not as the man will jazz me but obviously I know his products are fake. Other people are saying I shouldn’t waste my time but this is embarrassing and depressing, everyday I have to see this fine girl who is doing me longer throat with that her fineness, and this man took my money for nothing.


Aunty please help


Abedi


 


My reply

Bros, you see jazz man wey dey blow grammar, you come carry your money give am? Isoriate.


Erm, the only thing I can advice you now is to ask the man to do juju for you so that the girl would not love love you. Infact, ask him to do the one that would make her hate you. You do see my logic, don’t you? If the one to make her love you had the opposite effect, then the one to make her despise you should also have the opposite effect. And as per suing juju man, wait for the outcome of the case brought against Bishop Oyedepo. It should set the precedence for your own case.


Goodluck with all that.


Aunty Ngozi

 




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