Dear Charlie,

First of all, young men seeking sugar mummies is so last season. Boys have moved on to bigger things - and I’m not even talking of Yahoo-yahoo. Can you rap or sing or do stand-up comedy?

Secondly, ehn? (and this is just my Christian heart pushing me to help you) sugar boys living pampered lives of luxury and pleasure is just a myth.

It’s kinda like drug pushers. Mention that someone is in the drug pushing business and immediately it’s assumed that the person is rich, has at least two Hummers in his garage, has 7 girls he calls bitches (one for each day of the week), and has more dollars to spend than all the money changers in Eko Hotel have.

It is not true. They are suffering. The margins are small. Their life expectancy is short. Only a handful of barons at the very top make any sort of money – and that’s even before they're arrested or killed in a territory war. I know these things; I watch movies.

Think of it this way. Once upon a time starting your own pure water business was a sure banker to making it, abi? But not anymore. You know why? Too many players entered the business.

Trust me; older women who are rich and who want toy boys to play with already have too many fine young (much younger than you) boys to choose from.

I ask myself, ‘if I’m a sixty something year old freaky, rich mama looking for young meat, would I go for a 28 year old MAN with a kid?’ Nah.

My advice, start going to MFM ministries.

Good luck with all that.

Aunty Ngozi