Dear Genial babe,

Na wah o! You have this kind of problem and you did not write to me earlier?

Getting wet miraculously is a very big problem o! It is just a sign that you have mami-water spirit, because, why else would somebody just suddenly become wet when they are not taking a shower? It is your mami-water spirit swimming in water that is causing your body to just suddenly become wet like that. Nothing more.

And I can just imagine how embracing it must be for you: sitting there with your friends, talking, then suddenly all your braids and face and things just start dripping water. It is a serious thing o!

My advice to you is to perform a ritual that cleanses one of mami-water spirit.

The ritual involves a grown male child, Vaseline, and plenty packets of condom.

You see, when mami-water spirit enters a woman, it enters through her something, so therefore, to get rid of the spirit you need to go in there and force it out.

But it must be a man who performs the cleansing for you because if you do it yourself it would just enter your hand – same thing as if you let a woman do it for you; it would enter her and infect her as well.

Men don’t get possessed by mami-water spirit so it can’t do anything to them. They are immune. But to be safe, they need to wear a condom so that the spirit would not recognize them and start to trouble them later because they dislodged it from inside you where it was feeling cozy.

I wish you luck with getting rid of that terrible, terrible spirit troubling you and making you wet. What kind of embarrassment is that? Kpele, dear. Just perform the ritual I prescribed and you shall be well.

Oh, and on an unrelated issue: Talk to your friends who have been ‘disvirgined’ several times. Ask them how they do it and reserve the knowledge for when you want to get married.

Aunty Ngozi